I’m breaking up with you but I hope we can still be friends. Your season in my life has finally come to a close. I do recognize and honor the productive part you played in my life, but I’ve met someone else—a new year, 2018 to be exact, and I’m ready for a change in scene. But don’t worry—I’ll NEVER forget you. You will be a part of my heart forever.
You were truly a painfully complex and glorious suitor. Our story together was in essence BEAUTIFUL. We journeyed together through SO many chapters of mystery and intrigue in God. We tackled pages of new risks…AND we found tons of surprising discoveries and epiphanies along the way. We battled old foes and fears together and took lots of fresh ground. We saw new friendships, resources, and attitudes arrive on the scene, while simultaneously watching old mentors, assets, and mindsets phase out.
Our story together included much divine intervention and rescue, multiple times of divine withholding and pain, and LOTS of soul searching. We wrestled together between the realities of denial and truth and between the old and new man. We experienced a deepening of trust and intimacy with our Creator and also a time of new BEING and mindfulness within ourselves.
You really taught me how to partner with process and God’s connect-the-dots sequences, and I will be forever grateful to you.
You, 2017, were crucial to helping me leave slavery, discover sonship, and look towards new creative options. You helped me recognize the cadence of brideship and what intimacy draws and gifts look like from the bridegroom. But you also taught me how to attune and synchronize with heaven in numerous other ways too—like in my daily rhythm, in nature, in the Spirit’s present leading, and even in transitions.
You helped me discover and unpack myself. You saw things in me that I didn’t know were there. And you gave me a ton of time to practice just being me. I have to admit—a lot of it WAS actually fun.
You brought a lot of pain into my life too, but I forgive you—because it ended up being productive pain with a good return on investment. You also taught me how important it was to make space for pain and process. To honor them—rather than to avoid or ignore them as irrelevant. And you compassionately walked alongside of me as I grieved and felt ambivalent about a lot of life stuff—including the ending of past seasons of fruitfulness.
And in those times when I got kicked abruptly out of my comfortable nests, YOU believed in me—even when I didn’t feel ready to fly.
You believed in my potential SO MUCH that you even taught me how to be intentional with my time and decisions, so that potential would give birth to ability.
You taught me so many lessons during our time together, but I think my ALL-TIME favorites were the simpler ones of know thyself and trust thyself. I also really appreciated how many times you continued to remind me that challenges and snafus were a normal part of the growth curve, and that eventually…victories would come too.
You helped me heal and grow so much…In fact, YOU were the one who helped me finally to grow up and just decide to be who God made me to be all along. I’m not really sure HOW you even did that—because I can be seriously stubborn. You must have slipped that one under the radar when I wasn’t looking.
Anyway—this is goodbye 2017. I bid you adieu. I applaud you for being a faithful companion and an integral component of my journey. I will always remember our time together. It has even given me hope as I enter into a new relationship with 2018.
I find myself poised with earnest expectation of good things as I preview the blank pages to come.