It’s never too late to find out who you are and what’s inside of you. Your life is a suitcase that has been prepackaged full of goodies for this journey we call life.
Each person’s suitcase is unique, crammed full of misc. treasures, different latent giftings and abilities, and it takes the entirety of our lives to unpack them. Many people, sadly, don’t know they are a suitcase, much less clue in enough to even unpack the top layer.
The Greeks have two different words for “time”: Chronos and Kairos. Chronos refers to chronological, sequential time. We are quite familiar with Chronos, since it seems we are constantly chasing to keep up with him. He runs fast.
But Kairos means the right or opportune moment—that supreme moment. I like to think of it as those “God moments”. When God and time collide for that perfect synchronization of beauty, of birthing something new, which only the perfect collision of the divine, timing and resources can accomplish.
So meet Kairos, my violin. He is my God moment. He is that which I was not expecting. He was nowhere on my radar or future bucket list. But he was in my suitcase. And God knew. He was that which God chose in His divinity and Kairos time to bring into my life.
I must admit I had become rather weary, of life, of being stuck in a rut, of having my identity comprised solely as wife and mother, of healing from past pain that had emerged…yet again. I thought the exciting times of my life, when I felt alive, were buried in my past. I had resigned myself to just wearing the Mommy Hat, to taking care of the 1000 needs of the day, and then crashing into bed at night exhausted. “Who am I again?” I’d think. But I was honestly just so tired that it seemed hard to remember. All the yesteryears of studying, traveling, meeting new people, experiencing new cultures and adventures….these seemed very far away.
But Kairos was proof that there was more…for me. That there were things inside of me that I didn’t know were there. But that I could do. Yes, it’s taken some MAJOR effort. It’s like any investment. It takes work, time, and money. But it’s there: the musical ability, the passion, the fire…
Kairos is proof that it is never too late to start something new. It is never too late to discover and unpack ourselves. What’s in YOUR suitcase? Where have you felt stirrings inside?
Moms especially put themselves on the back burner. “I’ll get to myself later, after everyone else’s needs are met,” we think. But is that really what God wants? Is that what we want? I’m almost 40 years old right now. Am I willing to wait another 11 years, when all of my children are hypothetically out of the house, before I start unpacking the rest of me?
Being a wife and a mother has been fulfilling. It’s incredibly satisfying and touches my life in manifold ways. But there’s more. To me. To my calling. To my destiny. And if God has called me to be a 12-dimensional person, do I have the right to develop myself in only 4 dimensions? Wouldn’t that be falling short of who He created me to be?
“Who am I, God?”
“What’s inside of me that I don’t know yet?”
“How can I be faithful with what you’ve put inside of me?”
I think it’s time we start asking these questions.
(And incidentally, the more we become who we were made to be, the more that our family can do likewise.)
Keep those eyes open for your Kairos moments!
Happy Mother’s Day!!