So life is about Process. The good things always take time, right? I used to think that other people had advantages I didn’t have, which bumped them further along the wisdom and knowledge number line than me.
I used to wonder, “How far could I be? WHO could I be now?—If only I had started off with _______” (fill in your lack of choice here: eg affluent status, parents that didn’t divorce, a spiritual family, no student loans, etc.)
But the truth is—it doesn’t matter WHERE you start. Life is ALWAYS about Process. And even though Melissa might start off at Point D along the number line, and Bobby might start off at Point A, they both still have to journey through the rest of the alphabet, whether they like it or not. We just hope that Bobby finds a kindly Melissa to help coach or encourage him about A through C, along the way in his journey. Cause they are after all doing life together– in a matter of speaking, even if they come from different families or points on the alphabet line. We’re supposed to help each other out, right?
Someone told me recently that life starts again around age 40. I completely agree, even though I have a year left until I guess I really find out. But I get the concept. Lived enough life. Gained enough wisdom. Know YOURSELF better—passions, disgusts, annoyances, and hopefully by now—have gained the “I don’t care what anyone else thinks” attitude.
But Process isn’t fun. We are either “in” Process with a life issue/lesson or we are “Processing” something that already happened. Either way, it takes work. Work, work, work. Process isn’t meant to be easy. But it IS meant to teach us something. What is that something, you ask? Now THAT’s a good question.
I like to find out what people are learning in their own Process. I like to find out what they’ve already learned. Sometimes I hope that if I pay enough attention when they tell their stories, that I get a “Pass Go” ticket on that particular issue. I am after all, a great “learner”. Most times though, I still have to learn my own lessons and gain my own wisdom just like everyone else. Gleaning from other people’s fields of wisdom is helpful, but it doesn’t exempt you from having to sow and reap in your own life.
This composite gathering of wisdom is actually meant to help us though. To reach our Everest. To become our best. There are puzzles we will need to solve, people we are meant to help, the world we are meant to make a small bit better, and it won’t work from just buying the “wisdom app” on our IPhone. Unfortunately. But I don’t want to reach the end of my life and realize I chose the easy path. That I chose to stay small. That I had regrets. That I had let dreams die.
So after fighting Process for years, or actually just wishing he would go away, I finally conceded to partner with him. Our relationship started when I put on my movie glasses, sat back with him, and reviewed the journey reel of my past. I was surprised. I had to admit that Process had done a great job of developing my character. He’d taught me an ability to laugh at myself and chill out. And he’d taught me about compassion and how to cry with others. He was starting to grow on me. I decided I’d keep Him around for awhile…