I hit a bump in the road the other day when someone totally misread me and corrected me for something that was well just…totally…dumb. She was trying to put me in my place. I think it was because I had asked her a question that ruffled her feathers since she was the leader in the situation and I wasn’t—and I had questioned the why of one of her decisions. So she responded by slamming me for a word choice that I used during a prayer session.
“We don’t use that word that way here”, she told me.
In retrospect, it WAS humorous, because I had told God in the past that I wanted to become someone who didn’t take offense at anyone. But in order to grow into that person, I knew I’d have to walk through actual offenses and CHOOSE not to be offended.
At the time she misread me though, it wasn’t nearly as funny. My body immediately flooded with a huge rush of adrenaline, which so often happens to me when I feel misunderstood. But I knew I needed to get back in the game—and fast. We were just about to enter into two intense prayer sessions in our team of three and I knew I couldn’t let this episode of bizarre mislabeling and correction derail me.
Because at that moment, I knew I was battling two things: the emotional offense at having been misread and my own physiological body reaction. I knew both of them needed to be subdued and brought back into God’s alignment or else I would be completely ineffective on the team. I was already feeling the adrenaline’s effect on my brain and thoughts. They were racing wildly. And I hadn’t driven an hour to be derailed and just sit on the sidelines.
So I silently prayed a prayer of release: “Jesus, I forgive her. I release her. I’m not gonna hold onto this and obsess about any injustice in being misread. I bless her and I trust you with my reputation.”
And then I asked Him to bring my entire spirit, soul, and body back into my regular spiritual equilibrium and balance. And then I got back in the game.
I battled a little bit of hypervigilance about my word choices during my times of praying in front of that leader. But overall, I was able to show up, be present to both God and each individual, and bring what I had to the table.
I was still able to synchronize with God in a weird people situation and just trust that He would straighten out all the awkward details. But I could have easily gotten stuck if I’d chosen to mentally stay in the offense and ruminate about the injustice of it all.
And so I just did me. I showed up. I trusted God with my reputation and honor. And when I prayed for each individual in our prayer sessions, I gave it my 100%. I was able to get back in the game.
Later on that night, God vindicated me in multiple ways. The leader that had initially misread and corrected me, ended up blessing and acknowledging God’s partnership with me. That was cool.
But honestly, even if she hadn’t, I would have been okay. I could have still walked away feeling intact in my identity, feeling loved and cherished by God, and feeling firm in my life mission and my specific assignment in being part of that community.
Because no person’s opinion or assessment of me gets to dictate who I am or how I show up. It just doesn’t.